The Wolf
One evening, an elderly Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, ‘My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.
One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other wolf is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.’
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked, ‘Grandpa, which wolf wins?’
The old Cherokee simply replied, ‘The one that you feed.’
–
He stares at the mirror, tears streaming down his cheeks. He is afraid to turn his head, for the red gleam of its eyes haunts him still. It’s real this time. The wolf is real.
–
He ran to his mother, crying. “Mama, mama,” he sobbed, pulling at her skirts as she was patching an old pair of pants. “They pushed me off the slide and laughed at me and said I was ugly.” He showed her the scratch on his knee. “It hurts, Mama.”
His mother pushed his hands away roughly and shook her head. “Merely a scratch,” she muttered, as she got back to her stitching. “Wash it off and don’t cry. That won’t kill you, boy.”
With a wave of her hand, she dismissed him. He closed his mouth, whimpered, and turned away. Before he left, he saw the gleam of red eyes shine dully from behind his mother. He rubbed his eyes, and they were gone.
–
“They took my glasses and ran off, ma’am.”
He wiped the tears falling from his cheeks. “Then they laughed as they called me a nerd. They kept passing it around all day, then when I finally got it back, the lenses were all broken.” He sniffed. “My mother will get mad at me. Glasses are expensive…”
He cried some more in front of the tight-lipped guidance counselor. With a shrug, she took out a reply slip from her table. “Bullies are everywhere. The sooner you learn that, the better. Get over it.”
She signed the paper and handed it to him. “Here, present this to the teacher. But this should be the last excuse slip you get from me. You need to deal with this properly.”
He looked up at her to see the shadow of a wolf-like creature move past her. He wiped away his tears, shook his head, and took the paper from her.
–
“We need to talk, son.”
His boss stared him down from across the table. “Your performance has been sub-par lately.”
He clenched his fists. “I’m trying my best… I’ve only been 3 months at the company… I’m still learning…”
The man across him put a hand up to stop him from talking. “That’s not going to cut it, boy. Mack came in last month and is already doing better than you.” He jumped as his boss banged a fist on the table. “We can’t have under-performers like you around. You have one month to either get better or get the hell out, son. Now get out of my sight.”
He nodded and moved to the door. As he left his boss’s office, he saw the wolf waiting for him by the door. Without a word, he moved to his desk. The wolf trailed behind him.
–
He was laying in bed when he got her message. “I’m breaking up with you,” it said, its cold letters sticking out against the gray background. “You just cannot get your shit together. I’m done with this. Goodbye.”
He stared at it for a long while, then threw his phone on the floor. It sunk in the mess of clothes and trash that had been piling there for weeks. Turning abruptly to face the wall, he started whimpering as tears fell from his eyes. He heard a low growl in his ear.
–
He looks at the wolf in his mirror and gives it a sad nod. Its red eyes gleams with something… is it an accusation? Is it sadness? His chest heaves as he brushes the thought away.
Cocking the gun, he places it in his mouth and, while staring at the mirror with eyes full of tears, he pulls the trigger.
–
For TobyTrigger.
–
Image source: wolf-minori.deviantart.com/art/Enough-447218142
First written February 19, 2018.
#140