Night Run

I slipped into my rubber shoes and walked out the door, remembering to lock it behind me. As soon as I heard the familiar click, I went off on a slow pace as I began my nightly run.

It was a warm night, but at least there was a wind blowing to balance out the stifling humidity in the air. My feet knew my usual route anyway: the path leading outside the compound, a few turns here and there, a few loops around the big park, then home again.

I often wondered why I tortured myself this way, forcing myself to run every night despite my numerous responsibilities. I already pushed myself hard at the gym 3-4 times a week and could probably use the extra hour of sleep. But no, I knew that my heart longed for that loop around the park, and it could not be denied.

I turned left at the pink house, then a right at the one with the high green gate. Here, the park came to view. It was a park I knew well, one that held too many memories: some wonderful, some terrible – all too real and distant.

It was a big space, full of green grass and mature trees, and decorated by a playground, several benches, and a paved walkway that branched everywhere in the park. I took a deep breath and slowly moved across the familiar paths.

With each step I took, I was hit by the familiar wave of nostalgia that always arose when I ran through this place. I gulped nervously.

Steeling myself, I kept running on the path until I reached a little clearing in the middle of the park. Here, I stopped, as I usually did every single night. But tonight’s warmth compelled me to go further; it propelled me to move to the little space where I used to lie down with someone I once knew well.

It looked just as it used to be, and there was even a little grove for where we used to place our blanket on the grass. Once settled, we would excitedly lie down on our backs and point the stars, naming every constellation we can.

At this, a tear fell from my eyes, and I smiled sadly. I lay in the middle of the field and looked up, where the night sky dazzled with the brilliance of stars far, far away.

I started sobbing in the grass. “Mama, Mama, how I miss you,” I cried, my tears falling in full force. “Mama, Mama, why did you have to go?”

And in the darkness of the park and the heat of the night, I stayed there for a while, crying. My little whimpers mixed in concert with the cicadas of the night, playing a tune I was all too familiar with.

After a few more minutes and a couple of deep breaths, I wiped away my tears. I got up, brushed myself off, and went back on my night run.

–

Image source: deviantart.com/martineriksen/art/Path-at-Night-Park-320445421
First written April 11, 2018.
#186