Do NOT drink that soda.
“DO NOT DRINK THAT SODA.”
I turned to my old friend and sighed. “I’m really thirsty and don’t need your ‘saving the world’ business right now.”
He glared at me. “This is more important than your simple thirst!” He grabbed the bottle from me and carefully placed it on the bench. I rolled my eyes.
I’ve known this guy since we were kids, and he always had a weird habit of predicting things. He told me long before that he sometimes got caught in a kind of time loop that made him repeat a day over and over again until he got it right. Nutso, but he was a good guy.
I sat down sulkily. It was a hot day and I was really looking forward to that drink. “Get me another bottle next time. And how many tries now?”
He turned to the left, and a little girl in a red cap came into view. He stared at her until she began to sing. Relieved, he looked back at me. “8. Now hold this,” he handed me his backpack, “and drop it on that bench 3 minutes from now. See ya.”
And with that, he moved towards the kid, grabbed her hat, and ran away. The girl started crying and hurried back to the direction she came from.
I shook my head and stole a quick glance at my watch. When I looked back up, I saw him unscrewing my soda bottle. He seemed to be counting how many times he turned the cap. With a quick movement, he handed it to me and commanded, “Drink until half empty. NOW.”
I held the soda in my hand excitedly. “And how many now?” I asked, as I brought the bottle to my lips.
“13. Drink until half. That would do,” he replied, then he started running in the opposite direction he ran to earlier. “AND DON’T FORGET ABOUT MY BAG!”
I nodded, and was about to quench my parched throat when someone grabbed my bottle from me and pushed me away.
“NO! YOU SHOULDN’T!”
His bag dropped to the floor and I rolled my eyes. “Oh shut up, you,” I muttered, looking at his now ripped shirt. No blood yet, so I guess that’s something.
He was screwing back the cap on my bottle. He looked at me with pity in his eyes. “I’m sorry, buddy. 19 now. But here, I got you another one.” He rummaged through his fallen backpack and brought out another soda. “You may have this.”
He placed my bottle back on the bench and helped me up. He then made me wear the backpack and handed me his soda. “Don’t take that bag off and-” He looked at his watch, then to the sky. A flock of birds appeared overhead. He gasped and ran off without another word.
I took a deep breath and hurriedly opened the new bottle. I was really, really thirsty now. I was about to take a nice drink when I heard him shout, “I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK THAT!”
I stopped, closed my eyes, and tightened my grip around the soda. “How many tries now?” I asked, pissed beyond relief.
“11, and I–”
“NO NO NO NO. Number 19 came by and he specifically told me I CAN.” I smiled smugly.
His eyes widened and he whispered, “19? What the heck.” He walked off dejectedly.
Feeling triumphant, I brought the bottle to my lips once more. Just then, he wrenched the bottle from me and downed the entire thing right before my eyes.
“YOU ARE SO FUCKING RUDE, YOU KNOW THAT?”
He wasn’t, however, paying attention to me, and merely looked towards the horizon. After a few seconds, he glanced at his watch and let out a big sigh of relief.
“It’s over now,” he said under his breath, getting the bottle on the bench and unscrewing the cap. “Took 24 tries, but I’m out of the time loop and–”
I grabbed my soda and punched him on the arm. “Don’t do that again, dude. Fuck you.”
I raised the bottle to my lips, when I heard him cry out, “DON’T! DON’T DRINK THAT!”
I raised my middle finger at him and took a nice, long drink. It was just the thing I needed.
As soon as I emptied my bottle, I looked up to see his shocked face. I laughed so hard that I didn’t immediately hear the explosions from the distance and the incoming screams.
He shook his head at me and wore the cap he stole off the girl. “Number 25, here we go.” And he was gone.
–
Image source: deviantart.com/dylanridley/art/Explosive-Coke-261870223
First written June 23, 2017.
#72